The Dumbest Animal on Earth

Discuss whatever insanity comes to mind. Please keep it friendly and clean though.

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AntoineWG
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The Dumbest Animal on Earth

Post by AntoineWG »

Deer are quite possibly the dumbest creatures on earth. At about 2am on Tuesday morning I was on my way home from work. 2 deer were walking accross the road. I saw them and slammed on the breaks, going from 50 to 20 mph. I completely avoided deer #1, which bolted from directly in front of my car onto the shoulder and ran off. Deer #2 was in the oncoming lane and followed. The stupid thing ran into the side of my car, hitting just in front of the driver's door. It pushed the fender in about a quarter of an inch, it's shoulder broke the mirror off the door and it's head smacked the windshield hard enough to crack just the outer layer of glass. It did about $1000 worth of damage to my car, which is only worth about $4500, $500 of which I have to pay for on my insurance deductable. And the damn thing walked away! I just knocked it off it's feet and gave it one hell of a headache. I know the thing was mocking me as it stood there and looked at me in the field afterwards.

Picture
Picture

My car isn't scratched, just filthy. I haven't taken a picture of it yet, but I have my mirror ducktaped on so it's at least semi-legal to drive. It's black ducktape, so it's not quite so ghetto.
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Post by PHoNyMiKe »

I'm calling peta. you damn near killed that helpless deer! fuck your car and you, I hope the deer is alright! this poor victimized deer will be in my prayers tonight.
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Post by AntoineWG »

The thing had a death wish! It hit me, not the other way around. I want the name of it's insurance company.
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Post by darkbenny »

dear me!
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Post by Joe Camacho »

phOnYmIkE wrote:I'm calling peta. you damn near killed that helpless deer! fuck your car and you, I hope the deer is alright! this poor victimized deer will be in my prayers tonight.
Do deer go to heaven?
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Post by PHoNyMiKe »

doh!

a deer!

a female deer!

animal abuse.

nice tape measure by the way. were you trying to measure how close this poor deer came to death?
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Post by AntoineWG »

Actually that's my company issued Nextel phone.

As for how close it came to death, it was damn close. It hit about 2 feet from the front of my car and it's damn lucky it didn't get run over.
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Post by PHoNyMiKe »

that really sucks man. if a deer even looked at my car like he was thinking about ramming it, I'd cut his fucking throat and serve him for christmas.
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Post by Lizking »

This is why it should be legal for you to shoot animals from a moving vehicle
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Post by AntoineWG »

Like I would have had time. Unless I had a gun on the hood....Man that would be cool.
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Post by PHoNyMiKe »

that's why I love my car:

Image

nobody fucks with my baby.
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Post by snkcube »

Actually, a lemming is the dumbest animal on Earth....

Sorry about your car.
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Post by Joe Camacho »

phOnYmIkE wrote:that's why I love my car:

Image

nobody fucks with my baby.
Your car needs details, like flames, or a skull.

OR A FLAMING SKULL.
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Post by Mike »

Change the color, and take off them hubcaps, then put on some nice rims.

OR SPINNING RIMS.
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Post by AntoineWG »

Nah. The Walmart spinning hubcaps are even more ghettofabulous.

But seriously. How many animals stop and stare at oncoming headlights, then dart out into their path? That's some sense of self-preservation right there.
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Post by Demios »

Image

Image

Image

Image
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Post by AntoineWG »

I love the Acer monitor box ground effects kit on the yellow...what is that? A Volkeswagon?
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Post by DEFIANT »

When I was 21, I had owned, in mint condition, a 1965 Chevy Nova with a 350 V8. This thing could sh*t and get if you know what I mean. Driving on the Oregon coast, near Seaside, I hit the biggest f*cking elk you had ever seen. It was fogy and I was doing about 70-80 mph. Came around a blind corner and BAM! f*cker demolished my grill, then proceeded to slide across my hood back side towards me. I had enough time to yell F*CK before ducking into passenger side just as my windshield shattered and glass rained down onto my head getting everywhere, even in my mouth. I still had my foot on the break and when the car screeched to a halt, I jumped out, shaking glass out of my hair and making sure it didn't get in my eyes. I looked up just in time to see the little f*cker leaving the scene into the brush. If I was redneck, I woulda grabbed my gun and shot that bastard and had me some elk for dinner that night. That was one hell of a night.

So, AntoineWG, I feel your pain. I truly do.

The car was toast, front grill mangled, hood bent so bad they had to cut it out to replace. There where hoof marks on the top of the car where he had apparently rolled when his back side impacted the windshield.

My insurance fixed it without any bondo. Cost me 250 deduct. Full coverage is the sh*t when your a young driver.
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Post by badinsults »

Demios wrote:
Image
Only in Saskatchewan.

/me shakes head
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Post by AntoineWG »

Sorry about the car, man.

I've never used the comprehensive deductable, so I never realized it was so high. Usually it's only like $200, but mine's $500. On the bright side, I'm probably money ahead because I've saved on my premium for 9 years by having it high and a $500 deductable certainly beats a $1000 repair bill any day of the week.

The scaries part of that whole incident was the instant when I realized I was going to have an accident and there's nothing I could do to get out of it. Fortunately I only clipped it. A little faster or slower, and had I swerved any more or less and it probably would have been much, much worse.
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Post by DEFIANT »

It's alright, got me laid once :D and had some good times cruzin' around Portland.

I've heard it's best to taken by surprise and hit the animals, then try to serve and miss them. Most times, it causes far greater damage to your car and puts your life in greater danger from running off the road or into oncoming traffic.

I'm sure your couting your lucky stars that it was just your car and not a worse outcome. But it's good learning experiance to say the least.

Phonymike: That's why I recommend hitting a dear any day of the week... Too many of the damn things as it is. Kill a dear with your car and save a hunter the trouble.
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Post by darkbenny »

oddly enough, the cardboat bodykits on some of those cars look better than a lot of "pimped out" honda civics I see cruising around
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Post by whicker »

Yes, deer are stupid walking meat roasts on 4 skinny legs.

I haven't hit one yet, but I know I will eventually. And yes, per what you did, slow down as much as you can but only try to stop if they're actually in the road. Their stupid buddies are likely to run into the side of your car no matter what you do, even if your car is at a dead stop. This is the sort of advice I hear around here, where not seeing a deer at night is uncommon.

There is this one guy when the "I hit a deer" proclamation comes out that he gives the godawful advice to slam on the accelerator when there is a deer in the way and he swears by it simply because he hasn't hit one yet. And no, he doesn't drive a semi truck.

I wonder if deer ram into trees and fenceposts... It wouldn't surprise me.
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Post by Neo Kaiser »

Are deers edible? Are they endangered species protected by law?
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Post by Deathlike2 »

AntoineWG, you are giving meaning to the term "deer in the headlights". There is truth to it after all....
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